I had a prompt in my prayer journal (https://books.google.com/books/about/Prayer_Journal_for_Women.html?id=4SSrzQEACAAJ&source=kp_book_description) about adversity and trials. How relevant to today! The prompt asked about a challenging time in my life and if I saw God's presence. It then continued to ask how I can recognize God's hand now looking back, and how this can apply to difficult times in the future.
He is always good. He is always faithful. When I was 14-16, I experienced a time of heavy depression, cutting, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts. I was angry with God + wanted nothing to do with HIm. I was projecting my hurt onto Him. I felt Him there but felt alone; I knew He was there but felt hurt + betrayed by Him and didn't want Him there. Sometimes it feels like betrayal when it's part of His plan ([like] Jesus on the cross). Looking back, I see His presence, grace, and favor/protection saturating me. He never stepped away the entire time. Now, I know that even in my darkest hours, He's there. He cares. He keeps me surrounded in the shelter of His wings. His love overwhelms me because I am His. He saves me from my self-destruction because He has called me apart as His own. Because of His blood, I am called righteous. Because of His cleansing, I am a saint. He has set me apart for HIs divine purposes as holy. He sweps down when I feel low and reminds me of my love relationship with Him. He whispers to me His plan + purpose for my life. He excites me of HIs next move, with a wink + sparkle that tells me, "Love, it's a surprise."
That's what's on her mind.
xoxo, Chloe.
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